My Boss the Communist Dictator

It may seem racist or even hyperbolic to compare one's boss to dictator Kim Jong Il.  He doesn't have aspirations for world conquest (yet), and he doesn't attend colossal military parades in his honor, but there are enough similarities for me to mull and snicker to myself as he reprimands me for the third time this week.

The Personality Cult

Stalin, Mao and our buddy Kim all had or have personality cults.  If you're not abreast to totalitarian regimes, a personality cult is, to quote Wikipedia, "when a country's leader uses mass media to create a heroic public image, often through unquestioning flattery and praise."

The first thing anyone notices about this institution is the boss's face in promotional posters plastered in every hall, classroom and office.  His head, which is already rather large, takes up half of each poster, the rest being Korean text which presumably exemplifies his wisdom in English education.  Beside the front desk there is a large flat panel that plays non-stop footage of the boss giving lectures.  There is no audio or subtitles; all one can perceive is the man's head contorting and wobbling passionately.

His ubiquitous presence in the school is a throwback to Mao and Kim, who in attempt to create  omnipresent, godlike status, plastered portraits of themselves in every public area, from homes to classrooms to courtyards.  Now all we need is the boss in wristwatches and we'd have a cult for sure.

Empty Rhetoric

We can't reference Mr. Kim on this one since as we know, the fellow stays pretty quiet.  Mao, on the other hand, is remembered for a slue of vague one-liners like this:

"Letting a hundred flowers blossom and a hundred schools of thought contend is the policy for promoting the progress of the arts and the sciences and a flourishing culture in our land."

We need flowers to bloom to help sciences?  I don't have my Mao book in front of me to quote more hilarious and perplexing aphorisms, but suffice it to say, Mao was no public speaker.  When he did speak, however, it was usually to remark on the obvious or irrelevant.

My boss, in turn, loves a good speech.  That's why he's featured on the front-desk monitor orating inaudibly.  At our weekly meeting, he emphasizes that we need to be more professional teachers.  He then asks each teacher their view on how to be professional, and responds to each answer by explaining how we are completely wrong.  His explanations are never clear, and specific questions directed at him result in further befuddlement.  Staff emerge from meetings more confused than when they went in, and our failure to follow his vague directions result in more meetings.

It should be said that my boss's wisdom is followed exactly and never questioned to his face.  Neither logic nor experience enter in the discussion.  The boss commands and we obey.

Hairstyle

I could continue with grim comparisons, but I'd like to end this on a more amusing note, and that's hairstyle.  Dictatorships and goofy hair go together like celery and peanut butter.  I can't post a photo of my boss and I couldn't find a photo of a Korean guy with bad hair, so their current president will have to suffice.

My boss's hair underscores the passion of his speeches.  Each time he twitches his head to make a point, his hair shakes nervously, as if to echo the man's passion.  It's kind of a like the pet of a cartoon super-villain.  It's hard to explain without an image.  You'll just have to take my word that in this manner and others, my boss really is a junior communist leader.

And now I'm fired.